*kicks open door* I'M BACK! Geez, it's been awhile! Life has been busy but not too bad, although trying to nail down my grad school situation has been driving me nuts. On the sims front: I did a lot of work on my game! I overhauled my game lighting and cut out a good five gigs of CC, neither of which is apparent until sometime next update but I'm saying it now 'cause I'm secretly proud of myself for getting all that done. AND I NEED TO SOMEHOW JUSTIFY THAT LEVEL OF DORKINESS.
AND NOW, A RECAP BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. Click here for some musical accompaniment.
Theodora and Cashlin are terrible parents!
And also murderers, because this guy totally died in their front yard. And he is PISSED ABOUT IT!
This leads to the untimely deaths of the family's evil nanny and Aidan...
...which summons THE CPS. DUN DUN DUN. Oh man, is that even terrifying anymore after the sixteen or whatever visits that happened last legacy?
Social Worker: Hi, care to explain how your son managed to starve to death under your care? And don't say 'ghost murder'.
Cashlin: BUT IT'S TRUE LOOK BEHIND YOU
Social Worker: Yeah, we're not falling for that one again.
Cashlin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH OH FUCK MY ASS
Social Worker: Still don't belieeeeeeeve yooooouuu~!
So their convo is cut a little short due to Cashlin dropping dead. Really, the lengths some people will go to to get out of answering to the government! >:( And unfortunately, he's toast: Theodora is completely passed out and Sean no longer has his emergency action (I forget what I used it on, probably something dumb like catching the carpool). HOW UNFORTUNATE, REST IN PEACE POOR SWEET CASHLIN.
Social Worker Lady goes to scream at a new victim before carting the kids off with her. I was just so done at that point that I didn't even get a picture of their walk of shame to the car.
Theodora: Morning! watimiss?
SO. I suppose I could continue on with only Theo and Sean, and I DID tell myself I wouldn't reset if something bad happened... but fuck it, I'm giving myself a second chance! Time paradox!
We return to right before Aidan was scared to death. And just in time too: LOOK AT THAT PEDOTERRORIZER SMILE ON HIS FACE. WHAT A CREEPER.
And guess which stupid jerk is back! Unfortunately I saved after evil nanny died, so she doesn't get to make a return appearance.
Also making a special reappearance: the bun in Theo's oven! Man, this pregnancy is really kicking her ass.
What's a girl to do? Perhaps listen to a beautiful (and unsolicited) operatic solo...
Sean: O SOOOOOOOOOLE MIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sean: I WON'T DENY IT, NOT TRYING TO HIDE IT, I'M A SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE 4 U!
Theodora: Oh my god. He's finally snapped. Just keep smiling, just keep smiling...
Theodora: YES, THAT'S VERY NICE DEAR! NOW BACK AWAY, VERY SLOWLY
Come on, this girl isn't so hard to please. She's perfectly content with dinner and a show!
Here is Aidan crumpling up his report card for whatever reason, probably because he got a B+ and OH NO CAN'T BRING THAT HORRIBLE GRADE BACK HOME
Nadia: Hi Aidan!
Aidan: DON'T SAY HI TO ME. I KNOW I'M A FAILURE. I SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.
To his credit, Aidan isn't a shitty kid about homework and will happily sit down with his mom to work on it.
Until Theodora throws an angsty tanty about it. Who's the shitty kid now?
Actually, I bet Aidan can never finish his homework because A HUNDRED PEOPLE CALL TO TALK TO SEAN EVERY DAMN DAY! Seriously, the phone rings off the hook from 2pm on into the evening, it's terrible.
Nadia: Sean, all the kids at school say Mom is a dirty cheater. Why is she?
Sean: Have you seen who she's married to?
Theodora: oh my gOD SHUT UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP
I don't think Nadia likes that answer.
Nadia: He might hate Mom, but he doesn't hate me!
Cashlin: *ignores as usual*
Nadia: Dad, can I have a hug?
Cashlin: WOW DAMN YOU'RE DEMANDING, DO YOU WANT A CREDIT CARD AND SOME BAIL MONEY NEXT?
Sad Nadia: *grows sadder*
Cashlin: HELP, SHE'S STILL STANDING IN MY PERSONAL SPACE!
And she's just the cutest invader ever!
Here's your daily reminder that Nadia is absolutely nothing like her dad, in case you needed it. Which you really didn't.
Nadia: Oh no! I'll never beat Deep Blue at this rate!
Slicing Cashlin's head open on the table? That's nice, Sean.
Pancakes for breakfast! Theodora must really need to bribe the kids today!
Theodora: Nadia, you're going to be a big sister. I'm pregnant!
Cashlin: And I had nothing to do with it! :D
Theodora: HAHAHAHAHA OH YOUR DAD IS SUCH A KIDDER. How about you go do some of that homework you're so good at!!
Nerd child! Nerdiest little nerd child!
Theodora: ATTENTION ALL FUCKING ANNOYING CHILDREN, PLEASE STEP OFF OF THE BED
Theodora somehow hates his bed-jumping even more than I do.
Theodora: If I brought him into this world, I can take him out of it.
Aidan: HAHAHA JUST KIDDING MOM I DON'T LIKE JUMPING ANYMORE! :D
The new nanny showed up at the house! Her sunglasses let you know that she is TOTALLY RADICAL™.
New Nanny: THIS IS MY TURF NOW! YOU CAN JUST TAKE YOUR TINY PENIS AND STEP ON OUTTA HERE
New Nanny: That's right. WELCOME TO THE OWN ZONE, POPULATION: YOU.
Sean: Uh... okay then.
New Nanny: BUT YOU, YOU ARE GREAT
She lavishes Theodora with praise for the better part of an hour, for no reason. Yeah, New Nanny kinda creeps me out.
Please, I'm not convinced by that bitchface. This is all his fault for making friends with tons of annoying elementary schoolchildren and balding old men in the first place.
Maybe if someone called for Aidan it wouldn't be so bad, because let's be real here, you know he has no friends at school. He doesn't even talk to his family as it is. His only interaction is with his stupid bear.
Aidan: I don't need friends. I have Beary.
Hmmmmm, if you say so!
Chance card time! I would've told Sean to be nice, but I HAVE been watching him kick Cashlin's ass in every room in the house so please, he's totally the type to play dirty.
And it works out in his favor! I wish it would've been a promotion, though... D:
There's finally one glorious morning where everyone has left for work or school, leaving Theodora with some actual time to herself without slaving over everything.
Of course, this just means that the baby has to pick NOW to barrel out of her uterus and interrupt her well-deserved nap. THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!
New Nanny: AWWWWWW THIS IS NOT IN MY CONTRACT!
Theodora and Sean's baby is a girl, Molly! Same coloring as Theodora. Yeah, the genetic diversity is NOT strong this generation!
Theodora: Heheheh... just as planned.
What plan is that, you say?
Oh yeah! The juice is LOOSE, baby!
You may remember that Theodora "Hate Every Man" Pomerantz took a very long time to actually kick off the legacy, so she's already dangerously close to becoming an elder. Having Molly gave her just enough aspiration points to get the elixir of life she needed. GAMEPLAY STRATZ!
Cashlin: HONK HONK HONK HOOOOOONK HONK HONK HONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
God I hope that's how they drove the whole way home.
Kid: Hi sir! Hi! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Sean: Who the hell is that?
Apparently that would be Rove Douch(e). lol. i'm twelve
Ohhhhh, THAT'S a new one. Cashlin's only fought with Sean up until now!
Theodora: He pushed me? THIS MEANS I CAN'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE
YOU TWO WERE STILL A THING IN YOUR BRAIN?
I used some spare cash to finally buy another dining chair. Now everyone can fit around the kitchen table!
Well, almost everyone.
WTF #1: That's not your kid? You don't even like each other??
WTF #2: DAMNIT, THEO. GET BETTER PRIORITIES.
Aidan: AW HELLZ YEAH THE JUMPIN' IS GOOD TODAY
Radical Nanny seems to like Aidan, so she hangs out with him instead of doing anything important.
Radical Nanny: That's 'cause babies are lame-o!
Molly: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CHANGE MY DIAPER YOU OLD HAG
Feeding the stinky baby! Smartz!
Radical Nanny: EWWW! This baby's butt smells TOTALLY grody. But why...?
Molly: That does it. FUUUUUUCK THIS. *THROW*
I still need the nanny because neither of these fucknuts are going to do anything productive with their time, I can tell you that much.
Theodora: Excuse me. Can everyone just stop so I can read in peace?
Sean: Aww, do you need to turn that frown upside-down? Need a visit from MR. TEDDY BEAR???
Theo eventually gives up and goes to watch TV with Levi outside. I don't think I've ever seen an animal who likes the television this much.
Mittens: PSSSSSSSSSST. Are you seeing this? That dog is WATCHING TV.
Theodora: Listen, if I could find a man who was worthy of my untouched bajingo, then a dog can watch TV. ~ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE~
Hey, it's Molly's birthday! That was fast!
And they miiiiight have hit the sauce beforehand to celebrate.
Theodora: hic jUST A LIL' BIT!!!!
Theodora: CUZ I MEAN DAMN THIS BABY CAN PARTY LOL
Dawwwhawhawww! What a cute baby! Like her half-siblings before her, she looks a lot like Theo.
She had an impromptu adorable cuddle session with the bear so maybe she's nicer than her mom, at least!
Aidan: I CAUGHT YOU, BEARY! I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WITH MOLLY. HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS!!
Aidan: Wait Beary, I'm sorry. You know I love you, Beary. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Meanwhile, the booze-n-cake wombo combo finally catches up to Theo. Happens to the best of us! (Or maybe just me. cough.) I think it's a good time to stop! Sorry for the long break, but thanks for still sticking with it and reading anyway. :D See you next time!
+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +
|Fights:||3 → 23|
|Accidental Deaths:||1 → 2|
|Social Worker Kidnappings:|
|Elixir of Life Uses:||2|
I'm pretty sure I missed taking some pictures of Sean and Cashlin's fighting so that number should be even higher.