Hi and welcome! I'm back with some more ISBI goodness! (Still alive, just really busy! My life now consists of me screaming, "IT'S JULY?! WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS YEAR GOING" on a daily basis.) Actually, there's a LOT more ISBI goodness because this update clocks in at 115+ pictures and I couldn't cut it down anymore. And if you're like me and heard your ISP cackle as it shits out your sub-1-mbps internet speed, then I'm sorry in advance. :(
Last time: you should probably reread it since it's been a few months, but basically we narrowly avoided the loss of half the household, said goodbye to Sean's competent parenting skills, got a new baby named Molly, and realized that these kids have a horrible childhood!
We return to CASHLIN AND HIS CHILD ACTUALLY HUGGING! Thankfully he was suited up first so as to minimize physical contact. Hugs: never be caught unprepared.
Yo, can you guys keep it down back there? You're disturbing Nadia from... playing imaginary chess.
Sean: THIS ASS-WHUPPIN' JUST CAN'T BE DENIED, NADIA
Nadia: I CAN'T CONCENTRATE!! I'M LOSING AT MY PRETEND GAME!!
Sean and Cashlin considerately move their fighting to the nursery, so they can punch each other in front of a two-year-old.
Sean: What's that look for? TIME TO LEARN THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE, KID.
Molly's not a very happy toddler.
But hoisting Beary up by his bear-junk and bodyslamming him cheers her up. Doesn't it for everyone?
Sure, maybe Aidan and Nadia have accepted their fate of being permanently ignored children, but not Molly. She wants her game-mandated parental attention and she wants it NOW, damnit!
Sean: UGGGGGGGHHHHH I DON'T WANNA HOLD IIIIIIIT
Turns out Sean isn't so keen on his daughter whining for attention all day long. Of course just sucking it up and giving her a hug would solve both of their problems, but Sean decided that he's dumb and no longer deserves his #1 Best Dad coffee mug.
Molly: Hold up. Did he just say... NO to me??
Molly: PICK ME UP! PICK ME UP!!
Sean: MY COURT ORDER SAYS TWENTY FEET AWAY AT ALL TIMES
They've been at this for hours now. JUST GIVE UP ALREADY!
Oh yeah, and during that whole fun routine: teen birthday time happened!
Nadia rolls Family and Romance and somehow looks pleasantly happy! I guess she grew up well.
Aidan does... this... which I guess means he also grew up okay? His only aspiration is Grilled Cheese because I'm trying out the Quinctia way of assigning aspirations: rolling the same asp twice will now leave the sim with only that aspiration, instead of tacking on the Grilled Cheese asp (which is also now in the primary aspiration roll! I'm sure this evolution of my gameplay is very exciting).
Nadia celebrates her birthday with some late-night gardening, because she doesn't need underage drinking! Or partying... or friends....
Umm, I think she has her work cut out for her, though.
Aidan: PLEASE DON'T FIGHT. YOU GUYS SHOULD BE FRIENDS. LIKE ME AND BEARY.
Aidan: CHECK OUT THESE SWEET PUBERTY GAINZ, BEARY.
I swear to god, I'm going to sell that stupid thing one day and no one can do anything about it. Also please notice Beary's stained and disheveled appearance from being molested by Aidan at all times. Yeugh!
There was this random guy loitering around outside the house, so I invited him in. The look on Nadia's face makes me think she finds him a little suspicious.
Maybe because he immediately runs inside and puts his grubby hands all over the baby.
Molly: STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!
It took FOREVER to wrestle her out of his grip to get her to the birthday cake. Dang baby-obsessed townies!
Molly is cute! (and also colonized by flies)
Why is Sean shrieking like a little girl? I thought it was because Cashlin was beating him up. Oh, how sweet and naive I was.
Perhaps it might be because MR. CREEPY RANDOM GUY IS STARING AT HIM LIKE THIS?
Then I stopped playing for two months. (Obviously the dark arts were involved. coincidence y/n???) But I took out my Radiance lighting, slapped together my own lighting edit, and reorganized my whole downloads folder, so at least I was productive! As you can see, Sean's traded in his anime hair for A RAD MOHAWK.
Now, the title of Prettiest Bishounen Hair can go to Cashlin of all people, who grew out this luscious mane since I've been gone. Complete with scowly, broody model face!
Cashlin: I will find whoever snuck Rogaine into my shampoo and I will end them.
Half the stuff in the house went missing, so I took it as a sign to give it a little makeover...
...while inexplicably, the eyes of Mr. Creepy Random Guy came back. At the cost of his hair.
Aidan: H-Hi mom! I'm not writing in my super secret diary! I swear!
Theodora: You think I care? Ahahahaaaa... that's funny!
Nadia: Not now, dad! I have to tell Sean how much I love school!!!
Nadia: Fucking... LOVE IT.
Way to look excited about your child's education, Sean.
Molly: I have to go to school now too? I'm too old for this shit.
Molly isn't as enthusiastic about school. She IS the only one who manages to go to bed at night so at least she's well-rested?
Molly: OFF TO THE START OF MY SOUL-SUCKING PUBLIC EDUCATION! *prance*
I forgot why I took this one. I think I was excited about the lot finally being devoid of children. But it is a nice reminder of how the house has come along since we started!
There's some ridiculously early ghosts here today instead. Sean starts bitching at me like this is somehow MY fault.
How about you guys go wrangle your annoying kids instead?
Theodora: Oh, sweetie! Smooch smooch smooch! You're so cute! But if you don't stop jumping on your bed, you're sleeping outside in the graveyard tonight.
Molly? Maybe jumping on a bunk bed isn't such a great idea when, you know, your dad's trying to sleep in it.
Molly: LOL HI DAD
Nadia has moved onto existential contemplation of the chessboard.
But of course she'll still play too! You can tell she's good because she's got her smug face on during the whole game now.
Theodora: Knocking out mommy's front teeth? Oho, I see how we're gonna play...
Pictured: the last photo taken of Aidan's one remaining brain cell.
Already my least favorite part of playing an ISBI is being forced to read and care about every chance card that comes my way.
WHAT? THIS BITCH HAS BEEN UNDERWATER FOR FIFTEEN YEARS AND HE ISN'T DEAD? Wait, that's actually pretty impressive. And yet it still causes Theodora to lose her job. YOU AIN'T SHIT, ADVENTURER CAREER. YOU AIN'T SHIT.
Lemme tell you, this really hurts to see...
Sean: No! Don't you touch me with your disgusting, JOBLESS hands!
Aidan: MOMMMMMMMMMMM HAHAHA LOOK I GOT AN A ON MY REPORT CARD AM I WORTH SOMETHING NOW
Can we move on to happier, brighter things? Like the repairman I hired losing his goddamn mind at the TV he needs to fix?
He must be at full tilt today because his "repair work" consists only of incoherent screaming and stabbing the television repeatedly with a screwdriver.
Stop screwing around with it and just fix it already! heh.
Repairman: EXCEPT FOR MY SANITY, THAT IS! WELL, THAT'LL BE 300 DOLLARS
Sean: I should have moved to West Hollywood when I had the chance.
With Theodora out of work AGAIN, I've turned to child labor in order to pay the bills and made Nadia become a detective. It's also because Theo really wants Nadia to become an overachiever but uh, good luck with that happening in this legacy.
Here's her work outfit! Ahhhhhhhhh!! She's so cute I can't stand it!
One hour and one mysteriously located cat later, she's already got her first promotion! SWEET!
Using all six of those creativity points today, are we?
Theodora: ONLY FIVE SIMOLEONS FOR THIS?! I see those plebians can't recognize TRUE TALENT
Later, I got bored and sent Theodora and the kids out to a park so they could be annoying somewhere other than at home!
Molly immediately runs over to the mic to start practicing her standup routine. I was going to make fun of her for her venue choice but I've never had a sim kid do this and it was pretty adorable.
Nadia: STILL CUTE!
Theodora: STILL SURROUNDED BY HOT WOMEN! Really, I don't get it.
Nadia: Ahem, tonight I'll be playing an acoustic rendition of a song you probably haven't heard of! It's called "Wonderwall" by Oasis--
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOO BOO OH NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN BOOOOOO
Lmao, Nadia's family is so supportive.
Wooooo~oooooo! Spooooooooooooooky ghost hooooouuuuur~~!
There may only be two ghosts around on the lot right now, but they're annoying enough that I took out the Scaring Tweaks from the ghost mod I use. Now the ghosts are so laughably weak that they can scare as much as they like and not kill anybody! (Probably.)
Which is really good timing on my part because my game still loves its totally bullshit ghost attacks. Three in a row, REALLY?
Aidan: Uh, yeah, I... I saw a ghost too. Cough cough.
Strangling yourself in the bathroom? That's not a productive way to start your morning, young lady!
Molly: PLEASE LET ME LEAVE THIS CRUEL EARTH!
Theodora arrives home from Horrible Ambulance Job 2: Revenge of Ambulance Job with a smile on her face: she actually got a promotion her first day! Last time she was stuck on the first level for a week. I don't think she's really cut out for this "steady employment" thing.
I agree girl, I'm also bored to death of this! I like keeping up ISBI stats because it really illustrates how much these two idiots fight on a daily basis.
Which activity comes first in the time-tested battle between watching TV vs. caring for Sean's mental well-being? (spoiler: tv wins)
Oh man, I'm SO happy I nerfed my ghost mod right now. This girl is total ghost bait.
Molly: YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOUR BUST. I KNOW YOUR BIG OL' TITTIES ARE LURING IN THESE GHOST PERVERTS.
Two promotions in a row!! Is this the real Theo I'm looking at right now?! It may not be in her LTW career but whatever, I need that bonus money so badly. Unfortunately, all the promotions means she's getting back-to-back shifts and the household isn't handling her absence very well.
Molly didn't go to school this morning because she thinks jumping on the bed is way more exciting. And Theodora is THRILLED about this!
Theodora: Honey, our kid is pretty stupid. Can we make a new one? <3
Oh thank god, an actual human being for Aidan to interact with. Please don't let him mess this up.
Aidan: HAI LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT RATS! NO NO DON'T BE AFRAID, YOU CAN TRUST ME. I'M VERY VULNERABLE IN MY UNDERWEAR
Molly: I missed the bus again but mom's at work~! You can't make me go~! Neener neeener!
Policecat: TRUANCY IS NO JOKE! STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS! MEOW!
Molly: SOMEBODY BETTER FEED A BITCH AROUND HERE.
Molly: 'CAUSE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT GONNA DO IT!
Follow this up with more tantrums and more complaining and you have Molly's morning in a nutshell! The elementary school dropout life sure is a tough one.
Theodora: Hellooooooooo, I'm ho--
SHUT UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KID!
Theodora: I need to get my welcome-home hug first! AHEM, Molly.
Molly: Wait, is that who I think it is...?
Social Worker: *moseys in*
Molly: HOORAY! CPS HAS FINALLY ANSWERED MY PRAYERS!
Theodora: That's nice. Goodbye, sweetheart!
OH MY GOD. NOT THIS AGAIN!
Social Worker: *moseys out*
Where the hell was my warning? I'm guessing that Molly missed too much school and tanked her grade past the point of no return. Since I've already blown my one freebie rescue, the social worker is free to snatch her away. :(
She even goes "lol bai!!!!" as she smiles and clambers into the van. You'd think getting forcibly removed from your family would be traumatizing, but I bet this is the best day of her life. BYE MOLLY. YA WEIRD BASTARD.
Sean hides in the shower to cry over his daughter for a few minutes, which is probably the most attention he's ever paid to her.
Theodora, for her part, takes a nap. Conserving precious moisture!
Meanwhile, Nadia's detective job takes an intriguing turn as she thwarts The Notorious B.I.G. That's how I read it and I'm sticking to it. She wins another easy promotion for her efforts!
Oh man, I can't even remember the last time I had an overachiever...! sniff...
Question time! Guess who forgot to pay the bills after Molly was kidnapped?!
Cashlin: You think you can just walk into MY house? Well... you can. Please make yourself at home.
Just take him instead! Sell his organs on the black market! I'm sure they're only moderately damaged!
Instead the repo man takes... one whole chair and a mirror. Guy just doesn't know a goldmine when he sees one.
WELL WELL WELL. Nadia and Aidan have somehow managed to claw their way to the doorstep of adulthood, and are now eligible to become torch-holders! Which twin gets the dubious honor of carrying on the Pomerantz family legacy?
Unfortunately, there's no heir poll for this one. I'm already so slow and I need to start playing ahead more without waiting for poll results. I did briefly consider doing it but then Molly had to go and leave because of child welfare issues, PSSSHHHH. What a copout!
Do I choose gorgeous overachiever Nadia, or boring-as-shit bear-fucker Aidan?
Aidan: LMAO I'M SO TIRED but where is a bed??????
Yeah, there's really no contest.
Kickin' ass since childhood and she ain't stopping now!
+ Pomerantz ISBI Stats +
|Torch-Holders:||1 → 2|
|Self-Wettings:||0 → 3|
|Pass-Outs:||1 → 2|
|Fights:||23 → 68|
|Shrink Visits:||2 → 3|
|Repossessions:||1 → 2|
|Social Worker Kidnappings:|
|Elixir of Life Uses:||2|
Something new I did: hover your cursor over a category and now you'll get a small description of how I calculate it! (This doesn't seem to work on mobile so I apologize!) There's going to be some more radio silence up ahead; I'm moving in two weeks and starting school in a month, so I'll be getting a lot of shit together... but hey, I'm happy to have a new post after so long and I hope you enjoyed reading it. See you next time!